


nowhere else

by coocoocatchoo



Series: something new from something old [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Bokuaka - Freeform, Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji - Freeform, College AU, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attack, akaashi is trying not to have a breakdown, akaashi keiji - Freeform, anxiety attack, bokuto is trying to decide where to go to college lolol, bokuto koutarou - Freeform, ligHT ANGST OKAY I TRIED TO NOT DO ANY ANGST BUT IT H A P P E N S, listen keiji has anxiety poor bby, trigger warning, tw: anxiety, tw: panic attack, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coocoocatchoo/pseuds/coocoocatchoo
Summary: in which bokuto is trying to decide where to go to university + akaashi is trying not to have a breakdown
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: something new from something old [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1838773
Comments: 4
Kudos: 130
Collections: Bokuaka for the soul and heartbreak for the gut





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [killuagone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/killuagone/gifts).



> hello, hello !! coocoocatchoo, here. i dun diddly done wrote every single word of this in like a week because i wanted to put this out there A S A P. i just love bokuaka so much :3 i hope y'all enjoy
> 
> also i'm dedicating this to @killuagone because, of course, there'd be no me without her :))) also she helped edit this

Keiji stood at the whiteboard with one of his classmates, focusing on removing all of the evidence from today’s lecture off the board. It was his last instance of cleaning duty as a second year, and he was trying his best not to get sentimental. Or think about how it was also Koutarou’s last year as a highschool student. 

Once the duties were done and everything was cleaned, Keiji bowed to his classmate and bid them farewell, wishing them safe travels on their way home. He exited his classroom for the last time and started his journey to class 3-1, where Koutarou was struggling to get all of the dust and debris into the dust pan as his classmate looked on helplessly. Keiji stood in the doorway and watched the humorous scene before him, struggling to keep his lips from curving upward into a fond smile. 

“Allow me, Bokuto-san.” Keiji stepped forward and reached out for the broom, causing Koutarou and his classmate to jump at the break in silence.

“Nah, I got it, ‘Kaashi. I won’t be too long, okay?” Koutarou held out his hand in refusal and scooted farther away from Keiji, leaving a pile of dust in his wake. Keiji chuckled softly and closed the distance between them, taking the broom from Koutarou and telling him to hold still as he swept the dust into the dustpan.

“Thanks. Who knows when we would have been able to leave!” Koutarou’s classmate laughed good-naturedly, clapping Koutarou on the shoulder. “I’ll see you at graduation!” He waved as he exited the classroom, leaving Keiji holding class 3-1’s broom and the rest of the cleaning supplies scattered around the room. 

“Lemme put that away, then we can go home.” Keiji let Koutarou take the broom from him and watched as Koutarou scurried to the closet to pack up all of the cleaning supplies. Koutarou and Keiji usually signed up for cleaning duty on the same days when there wasn’t practice so they could walk home together, and since their unfortunate loss at nationals, they had signed up for cleaning duties more often. Keiji and the rest of the underclassmen had still held practice to prepare for next year, but it was voluntary for the third years--though they still always showed up as if nothing had changed.

It was a Wednesday, and there was no practice. It was a Wednesday, and it was the last day of the school year.

“Ready to rock and roll?” Koutarou emerged from the closet and dusted his hands off on his school pants. Keiji winced slightly.

“Bokuto-san, I told you to stop using that phrase. Who did you even hear that from?” 

“An American movie! I think it’s a cool saying, so I’m gonna keep saying it.” Koutarou grinned and crossed his arms over his chest as the two volleyball players made their way toward the shoe lockers. They slipped on their street shoes in silence and Keiji paused when he noticed Koutarou lingering at his shoe locker, hands hovering over the small door that he had managed to decorate with volleyball and owl stickers.

“Are you okay?” 

“Hey, ‘Kaashi?” Koutarou took Keiji’s silence as permission to continue. “D’ya think that...if I moved far away...we’d still be friends?”

Keiji was a bit surprised at Koutarou’s question. He’d struggled with the thought of Koutarou leaving him ever since nationals ended. He had friends and he still loved the team, but he’d be lonely without Koutarou’s constant presence. His constant brightness and energy. It would be like losing an arm or a leg. Keiji couldn’t quite see Koutarou’s face since he was facing his locker, but Keiji smiled in spite of himself.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t we?”

“I dunno.” Koutarou shrugged and turned around, shutting his locker in the process. “Sometimes people don’t keep their friends from high school.”

“We’re not ‘people’.” Keiji assured Koutarou quietly. Koutarou eyed Keiji for a beat before his lips spread into a wide, toothy grin.

“Right as always, Akaashi-kun!” Koutarou slung a heavy arm around Keiji’s neck and led him out of Fukurodani’s main building and into the evening glow of the courtyard. 

“But what did you mean by ‘far away’?” Keiji managed to ask once Koutarou’s hold around his neck had loosened.

“Well, remember when that dude from Kansai offered me a position on their tryout team and a scholarship?” 

“The scout?”

“That’s the one!”

“What about him?”

“I’ve been thinking about his offer...Kansai has a really great volleyball program and I—” Koutarou fully removed his arm from around Keiji’s neck and scratched the back of his head pensively, “I like the opportunity.” 

Kansai University in Osaka. Seven hours away. Keiji had noticed the scout talking to Koutarou after the qualifiers for nationals, but he was too focused on keeping his underclassmen calm that he didn’t think much of it. He missed the chance to discourage Koutarou from moving away. He cursed himself.

It wasn’t that Keiji didn’t want Koutarou to follow his dreams—he just wished his dreams didn’t have to be so far away from Tokyo. From him.

“But I’m still considering Hosei and Tsukuba! Those are closer to home!” Koutarou said hurriedly after a prolonged period of silence from Keiji. Keiji blinked back to the present. 

“But where do  _ you  _ want to go?” Keiji pressed. Koutarou’s shoulders slumped and he cocked his head to one side. 

“Not sure.” Koutarou perked up as an idea entered his brain. “Hey, you wanna come over and help me look over all the schools? I trust your judgement and it’d really help me decide!” 

“Of course, as long as food is involved.”

“Always!” Koutarou chuckled as Keiji pulled out his phone to let his mother know he’d be having dinner at the Bokuto residence. 

* * *

Keiji savored the flavor of the pickled plum onigiri on his tongue as Koutarou rambled on and on about how Konoha embarrassed himself at lunch. 

“—so then, Aki is holding his bento up like this,” Koutarou mimicked Konoha by thrusting both of his hands in the air and stretching them above his head, “while the squirrel just  _ stares _ at him from his lap.” Koutarou took a breath to continue. “But the squirrel is really...tenacious?” Koutarou shot Keiji a look for confirmation and Keiji nodded absentmindedly; Boktuo happily continued. “The squirrel basically uses Aki’s balls as a trampoline and jumps up, swipes the bento, and runs away. Meanwhile, Aki is holding his balls in agony!” Koutarou finished the story by wheezing out a couple of laughs before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Keiji couldn’t stop himself from giggling around his mouthful of rice until his eyes started to water. Koutarou eventually regained his composure and collapsed onto his bed, breathing heavily. 

“I wish you’d sit with us at lunch instead of studying all the time.” Boktuo sat up to lean on his elbows as he watched Keiji reach for another onigiri. “Maybe then you wouldn’t have to stuff your face with onigiri.” 

Keiji narrowed his eyes at Koutarou in a glare as he held his fourth onigiri close to his chest. He reminded Koutarou of the squirrel from lunch. 

“Did ya like my story?”

“Yes, but I can’t help but feel bad for Konoha-san. He got his bento and his dignity stolen from him at the same time.” Keiji joked. Koutarou snorted.

“Sometimes he deserves it.” It was silent for a couple of beats.

“Bokuto-san, it’s getting late. Do you want me to help you or not?” Keiji gently reminded Koutarou of the whole reason he came over. 

Begrudgingly, Koutarou stood and stretched before grabbing his laptop and flopping back down onto his bed next to Keiji. He laid on his belly and kicked his legs back and forth as he booted up his laptop and opened the scans of the letters that detailed each of his offers from the universities. 

He angled the laptop toward Keiji so he could see better and Keiji scrolled through the first contract from Hosei, liking the promise of getting onto the team without trying out. Hosei was a private university in Tokyo, and an expensive one at that, so they must recruit all of their players since they had a smaller student population. The athletic scholarship was a plus, though.

The University of Tsukuba was a public university in Tokyo that offered Koutarou a spot on the tryout team which would hold a training camp for a week in April before making their decision. Keiji knew that they had Koutarou’s preferred major, Photography, which was quite difficult to get into. However, Koutarou was wickedly talented with a camera and had amazing spatial awareness, so Keiji had no doubt that he’d be able to get in without a problem.

Finally, Kansai University was a private school that was, again, seven hours away. Keiji picked apart the clauses and requirements in the contract, weighing the pros against the cons. No matter how much money they offered Koutarou, or how much they had praised his athletic prowess, Keiji could only see the school as the one that would take Koutarou seven hours away from him. 

Suddenly, the half eaten onigiri didn’t seem so appetizing. 

The room spun slightly as Keiji quickly stood and excused himself from Koutarou’s room, hurrying down the hall and to the bathroom, locking himself in. He plopped down on the tile floor, pressed his palms against his cheeks, and drew his knees up to his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he searched for oxygen to breathe. 

_ Seven hours away. That’s literally across the country. He’d be too busy to visit. He’d never have enough time to travel across the country to come see us. To come see me. I’d be totally alone. I wouldn’t have anyone.  _

Keiji guessed it must’ve been about three more minutes of struggling to breathe and struggling to come to terms with Koutarou’s departure before he began to see minute green, red, and blue sparkles behind his closed eyelids and managed to cling on to a bit of oxygen that the universe had spared him. He released his head from his own grip and stretched out his legs, taking three deep breaths and rubbing his chest to help calm himself down. Just like Sarukui had taught him.

_ Well, I guess he hasn’t decided yet. I should support him. No matter what. _

“Keiji? Are you okay in there?” A gentle knock sounded on the bathroom door and shook Keiji back to reality.

“Yeah, yes. I’m okay.” Keiji’s voice wavered as he shakily got to his feet. He moved over to the sink and mirror and frowned at the puffy, red eyes that stared back at him. He took a moment to turn on the sink and wash his face off, hopefully hiding any evidence of his panic attack from Koutarou. He knew how Koutarou would spiral if he found out. 

Koutarou was sitting cross legged on the floor on his bed when Keiji returned, spreading himself out on the bed next to him. Koutarou tried not to notice Keiji’s damp, red eyes.

“You good?” Koutarou asked cautiously, peering down at Keiji, who was staring up at Koutarou’s ceiling. Keiji had always liked how Koutarou kept everything from his childhood; he had volleyball posters pasted on to the ceiling and Christmas lights strung up around his window, not to mention his previous volleyball jerseys from middle school that were pinned to one wall. His room was bright, just like him. 

Everyone could use a little brightness in their life, and Keiji didn’t like to think of himself as a selfish person.

“I think you should try for Kansai. If that’s your dream.” Keiji took a deep breath and continued. “They could use someone like you, Bokuto-san.” 

Koutarou felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach at Keiji’s words. He thought that Keiji would surely suggest for him to go to one of the universities in Tokyo. He had  _ hoped _ that Keiji would want him to go to one of the universities in Tokyo.

“If that’s what you think is best, then...I’ll consider Kansai more seriously.” Koutarou said slowly. Keiji sat up and began to fumble with his fingers, his stomach turning over and over in his abdomen at the dejected tone of Koutarou’s voice. Koutarou reached over and grabbed Keiji’s hands in his one large hand, halting Keiji’s bad habit momentarily. Keiji peeked up at Koutarou’s eyes, golden and flecked with green. He began to feel nauseous. He began to feel like his heart was going to escape from the prison of his rib cage and tear through his chest. 

Before he knew it, Keiji was collecting his things from around Koutarou’s room and scurrying out of the door and down the stairs, pausing quickly to bow toward Koutarou’s parents. The chilly October air nipped at Keiji’s cheeks and nose and, suddenly, he felt calm.


	2. chapter two

It was the end of March, and Keiji and Koutarou hadn’t had an actual conversation in two weeks. This wasn’t on purpose, of course, but things had begun to pick up and Koutarou seemed to be overwhelmed with graduation duties and applying for university. The only time Koutarou and Keiji had managed to maintain meaningful eye contact since the night at the Bokuto residence where Keiji almost lost his mind, was when Koutarou gave him a very small and very cute invitation to his graduation.

“Bokuto-san, the whole school attends every graduation. You don’t have to invite people.” Keiji smiled gently at the fidgety, grey haired man before him. 

“I know…” he tapped the tips of his index fingers together, “but my mom made these little invitations for the team and they were really cute and I couldn’t just  _ not  _ give them out.” Koutarou shrugged as he finished his explanation. “Plus,” Bokuto continued hurriedly, “I wanted you to be able to come back to my class for the after-ceremony.” 

Keiji had totally forgotten about the smaller ceremony that would happen in each class. Koutarou’s class was a large class and Keiji immediately started to worry that he’d even be able to save a spot for himself among all the friends and family. 

A hand clasped onto Keiji’s arm, right below his elbow and above his wrist.

“I really need you there, ‘Kaashi.” Koutarou said quietly, golden eyes searching Keiji’s for some sort of promise. 

Keiji gulped and tried to push down his anxiety. “I’ll be there.” 

“Awesome!” Koutarou squeezed Keiji in a quick, bear-like hug. “Graduation wouldn’t be graduation without you!”

“That implies that you’ve graduated with me before.” Keiji joked.

“Just go with it, ‘Kaashi, don’t be like that.” Koutarou was beaming, and Keiji decided that things should go back to normal before it was too late.

* * *

Keiji was tossed around in the sea of families and friends that rushed for the stairs that lead to the classrooms. Luckily, he knew a shortcut through the faculty lounge and managed to slip out of the crowd and into the faculty lounge. He took the stairs mainly used by faculty up to the third floor and practically ran for Class 3-1, hearing the mob of guests growing closer. 

Keiji considered himself a fool, cursing himself when he felt his heart stop upon seeing Koutarou in all of his exuberant glory. He was chatting with some friends when he spotted Keiji, who had snagged a seat in the back of the class where seats were set up for the guests. He bounded over to him and crushed him in a hug.

“Akaashi, you made it!” Koutarou said, a mess of excitement and anticipation. Keiji wondered if he was more excited to play volleyball in university or to move away to university.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.” Keiji smiled at Koutarou and noticed the way that the tips of Koutarou’s ears became bright red. It was one of the reasons why he’d smile at him so often. A couple of beats of silence passed before Koutarou was placing his camera into Keiji’s hands.

“Hey! Could ya take some real good candids of me and the boys? I wanna hang them up on my wall later.” Koutarou pleaded. Keiji nodded, having handled Koutarou’s camera many times before. Koutarou didn’t trust many people with his camera, but obviously, Keiji was an exception.

Keiji wondered which wall Koutarou would hang the photos up on. The wall in his room in Tokyo or the wall in his dorm at Kansai University. Seven hours away.

Keiji raised the camera as Koutarou hurried back to his friends, easily returning to the conversation they were having before he was distracted by Keiji’s arrival. He snapped a couple of photos of Koutarou candidly chatting with his friends, of the decorated classroom, of the students in a line around the classroom as they waited for their names to be called.

As more and more parents and friends filled the room and as Koutarou got closer and closer to receiving his diploma, the more suffocated Keiji felt. The flash of the camera as Koutarou received his diploma was dulled by the breaking of Keiji’s own heart. He could tell from Koutarou’s smile as he cheered with his classmates, that he had chosen Kansai.

Keiji was looking through the photos he had taken when Koutarou bounded up to him once more, this time with a friend in tow. 

“Akaashi, let’s get our photo taken!” Koutarou grinned. Of course, Keiji could never say no to that smile. He stood and handed Koutarou’s camera to his friend, explaining how Koutarou cherished it and the proper way to handle it. 

Keiji made a move to properly pose next to Koutarou but Koutarou already had a tight grip on his waist and was pulling him close, making a peace sign with his free hand and grinning widely. Keiji tried to smile, but the flash of the camera beat him to it.

“Thanks, man!” Koutarou clapped his friend on the back as his camera was returned to him. Keiji stuck around with Koutarou and his family as they thanked everyone for coming and had meaningless conversations. The room was almost empty, save for Koutarou’s party and a couple of stragglers.

“Koutarou-chan, we’ll see you at home, okay? Make sure Keiji-chan gets home safely!” Koutarou’s dad waved at them as Koutarou’s immediate family piled into their car.

“Will do, ‘Tou-san!” Koutarou saluted his father with his free hand as they drove off, still holding Keiji close with his other. 

“Bokuto-san, you can let me go now.” Keiji reminded him. He was still struggling to breathe from the massive throng of people that he had to endure for close to four hours, and Koutarou’s vice grip on his waist wasn’t helping either.

“Oh, sorry.” Koutarou chuckled bashfully. “I just didn’t want you to get carried away by the crowd.”

The two friends started their journey to the Akaashi residence, which wasn’t far from the Bokuto residence, but always felt longer when Keiji walked alone.

“I’m your  _ senpai _ now, ‘Kaashi.” Koutarou teased, breaking the comfortable silence.

“I’m not sure you know what senpai means. You’ve always been my senpai.”

“Yeah, but I’ve always seen you as my equal. You could always lead the team better than I could.” Koutarou lightly bumped Keiji’s shoulder with his own. “I’m glad I had you.” 

“Feeling sentimental, are we?” Keiji teased, returning the gesture. Koutarou whined.

“Well, kinda! Aren’t I supposed to feel sedimentary after I graduate?”

“ _ Sentimental _ . And yes, that’s usually how that goes.” 

The teasing continued back and forth until Keiji stood at the door to his home, his back against the door and his eyes on Koutarou. 

“So…” Keiji began to fidget with his fingers, “have you decided?” 

“Decided what?” Koutarou raised an eyebrow at Keiji’s sudden change in behavior. 

“You know what.” Keiji answered quickly, his eyes boring holes into Koutarou’s. Koutarou ducked his head shamefully, knowing that Keiji wouldn’t like his answer. He didn’t want to be the cause of another panic attack. But he would never lie to his most precious friend.

“I’m going to sit for Kansai’s, Tsukuba’s, and Hosei’s entrance exams.” Koutarou answered, his voice steady and calm. Keiji regarded the three choices for a while, feeling slightly calmer at the mention of the two universities in Tokyo. He didn’t like that Koutarou was still considering Kansai, but he did tell him to follow his dreams.

“I’m glad you’ve made your decision, Bokuto-san.” Keiji turned to the door and reached for the door knob. “Congratulations on graduating. Good-night, get home safe.”

“Keiji!” Koutarou called before Keiji could grip the door knob. Keiji’s head whipped around at the utilization of his first name, eyes a millimeter wider than usual.

“Yes?”

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

Keiji wanted to ask what Koutarou possibly needed to see him for tomorrow, but instead, he smiled at him. “Of course. Whenever.” 

Koutarou seemed to deflate in relief. He grinned back up at Keiji before waving. “I’ll text you!” 

Keiji nodded before finally entering his home, and Koutarou watched him until he was sure that Keiji was safely inside. 

* * *

Keiji’s eyes skimmed the outline of the 2016 Olympics poster for the hundredth time that night, having already memorized the yellow and green of Brazil’s uniform. He couldn’t help but imagine if Koutarou had chosen somewhere as far away as Brazil to continue his volleyball career. Keiji jolted back to reality when the shower knob squeaked as Koutarou shut off the shower and made his way down the hall and back to his room, where Keiji lay flat on his bed. 

“How was your shower?” Keiji asked, rolling over to lay face down on Koutarou’s bed. He hated it when Koutarou would change in front of him, he could never find a proper way to hide the fact that his whole face was on fire. 

“Refreshing! I’m feeling good for the exam tomorrow.” Koutarou unwrapped the towel from around his waist and dried off, ruffling his hair until it was frizzy and damp. Meanwhile, Keiji tried his best to still his beating heart.

“Tomorrow is Hosei, right?” Keiji’s voice was muffled against Koutarou’s sailboat sheets. Koutarou had always had a thing with the ocean, which is why Keiji wondered why Koutarou didn’t want to cross it. 

“Yep! Then, Wednesday is Tsukuba and Friday is Kansai.” Koutarou checked the time on his clock as he pulled on his briefs. “Jeez, it’s getting really late. We should get to bed.” 

Keiji rolled back over when he felt Koutarou’s weight on the bed. He watched Koutarou move the ridiculous mountain of pillows onto the floor and fold back the sheets. 

“What time do you wanna wake up so you can quiz me?”

“You mean, what time do I have to wake up to wake you up.” Keiji teased, crawling over to the side of the bed he usually slept on when they had sleepovers. Koutarou had even bought him his own set of pillows. 

“Awe, ‘Kaashi, don’t be like that.” Koutarou giggled and turned off his bedside lamp. “The exam’s at noon, so I think eight is a safe bet.” 

Keiji glanced over at the clock. Two thirty in the morning. He had spent almost eight hours helping Koutarou prepare for his entrance exams. It really felt like five years.

Helping Koutarou study was like making sure a group of toddlers didn't wander into a busy street. It’s incredibly stressful. Koutarou had the attention span of a six year old and would get distracted by anything little thing—plus, he flat out didn't want to study. If it weren’t for Keiji, he’d probably just cram the night before each exam and show up feeling and looking like death.

But Keiji tried his best, because he wanted Koutarou to be able to be the best. Even if that meant getting five hours of sleep. 

“Night, ‘Kaashi.” Koutarou whispered, not sure if Keiji was already asleep, and curled himself into Keiji’s back. Keiji smiled to himself as he heard Koutarou’s breathing settle into a steady rhythm, before closing his own eyes and trying his best not to think about the future. Or that it might have been the last time he’d ever sleep in this bed.

When the alarm went off, Keiji rubbed at his eyes and made sure that it was actually eight in the morning; five hours of sleep had never felt shorter. Keiji reached across Koutarou’s unconscious form to slap the alarm shut. He sleepily shuffled down the hall and to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water, before focusing on the daunting task of waking Koutarou up.

“Bokuto-san.” Keiji’s hands clutched Koutarou’s shoulders and shook him gently. The blissful smile that Koutarou donned during his sleep did i not fade and his snoring did not cease. “Bokuto-san, your first entrance exam is today.” Keiji couldn’t help but chuckle to himself when Koutarou’s eyebrow twitched in his sleep. He decided to resort to more desperate measures. “Koutarou-kun,” he released his grip on Koutarou’s shoulder and moved his hand to Koutarou’s hair, stroking it gently, “it’s time to wake up.” 

Koutarou’s eyes fluttered open at the feather light touch in his hair—his scalp was very sensitive—and he jolted to an upright position once he saw Keiji’s sleep-flushed face directly above his own, almost knocking heads with Keiji in the process.

“Sorry, sorry!” Koutarou’s eyes were wide now as he watched Keiji back away from him.

“Good morning, Bokuto-san. How are you feeling?” Keiji bowed his head slightly, mainly to hide the blush that stubbornly fought its way onto his cheeks and up his neck.

“Prepared!” Koutarou threw his sheets off of his legs and leapt out of bed, grabbing Keiji’s hand once he was close enough. “But first, breakfast!” He cheered, leading Keiji out of his room and down to the kitchen, where Koutarou’s mother was already preparing breakfast for the two boys.

* * *

“And you’re sure you have three pencils and two pens?” Keiji had been fussing over Koutarou since they left the Bokuto residence. Koutarou checked the front pocket of his backpack.

“Yeah, yeah. Just in case the lead breaks or the ink runs out. I’m all good, ‘Kaashi, calm down! Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be stressed?” Koutarou chuckled. 

“I’ve never known you to get stressed when it comes to academics.” 

“Well, it  _ is _ my future.” Koutarou added, pinching his lips together as soon as he realized what he had said. He didn’t want to send Akaashi spiraling again. Akaashi was too busy focusing on going through Koutarou’s backpack to confirm that he had his ID. But he had definitely heard his remark.

Once Koutarou and Keiji reached Fukurodani, where all of the entrance exams were being held, Koutarou pulled Keiji into a tight hug and thanked him for helping him with everything. 

He did the same thing on Wednesday, when he sat for Tsukuba’s entrance exam. But he did not get the chance to complete the ritual on Friday, when he would sit for his Kansai entrance exam. Keiji was nowhere to be found.

> **kou kou** **(11:53)** kaashi where r u ???? my exam is about to start !!! how am i supposed to kno if i’ve got all the right stuff ??

Koutarou fumbled with his phone as the check-in line got shorter and shorter and Koutarou got closer and closer to the check-in table, where they collected phones. Just as Koutarou was about to reach the front, he felt his phone vibrate. He opened the message in record time.

> **aka k (11:57)** good morning, bokuto-san. i am not feeling well, i’m sorry i forgot to let you know i wouldn’t be able to meet you this morning. i am cheering you on in spirit. do your best!

Koutarou frowned at his phone, sending back a quick thank you before he turned it off and dropped it in the basket on the check in table. He was worried about Keiji—he felt sort of guilty for making him stay up late all those nights to help him prepare for his entrance exams. He wondered if Keiji’s lack of rest had caused him to fall ill.

_ I’ll just speed through my exam and then visit him after! _ Koutarou decided as he made his way up the stairs and to his assigned room.  _ But ‘Kaashi wouldn’t want that. Plus, this is Kansai. I need to do well on this exam or else they’ll take away my spot on the try out team. _

The fact that Kansai’s location would make things hard for his friendship with Keiji had crossed Koutarou’s mind many times, but he couldn’t deny that Kansai was his dream. Ever since he had seen them play in the All-Japan Intercollegiate Volleyball Championship in 2008, he knew he had to be on their team. However, in 2008, he had not yet met Akaashi Keiji. 

Koutarou managed to clear his mind just barely enough to try his hardest on the exam, only letting his mind wander to an impossibly sick Keiji a couple of times. 

Once Koutarou finished his exam, he quickly turned in his exam, signed out, and picked up his phone from the check-in desk. 

> **kou kou (14:07)** can i come over ??? i just finished my exam ,,, i’m coming over !!
> 
> **aka k (14:07)** look to your left

Koutarou whipped his head to the left to see a well-rested Akaashi Keiji waving at him from the exit gates. 

“‘Kaashi! Are you feeling better?” Koutarou ran over to Keiji, making a conscious decision to not hug Keiji, just in case it would hurt him. Keiji nodded slowly, unable to make eye contact. He drew in a deep breath before his eyes flicked up to meet Koutarou’s. Koutarou felt like his feet were glued to the sidewalk.

“Can we talk?” 

“Uh, yeah. Sure.” Koutarou scratched the back of his head apprehensively. “Anything.” 

Keiji hesitated.

“I don’t want you to go to Kansai. And...the thought of you possibly doing well on this exam and ultimately moving to Suita made me sick to my stomach. I spent most of the morning...not feeling well.” Koutarou knew that meant Keiji had likely had an anxiety attack. Or two. He began to feel sick with guilt.

“‘Kaashi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I—I won’t go to Kansai. It’s not even that important to me. You’re—”

“You didn’t let me finish.” Keiji held up his finger and took another deep breath before continuing. “I only suggested that you focus on going to Kansai because I know that’s where your passion is. It’s your dream to go there, and I want you to follow your dreams.” 

Koutarou felt like crying but also shouting with joy at the same time. But he opted to stay silent so Keiji could continue.

“But...I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you were to move across the country, Bokuto-san.” Keiji’s face was beet-red and he was trying his hardest to hold back his tears, he felt he might burst. His vision became blurry and he began to fidget with his hands, focusing on doing that instead of what Koutarou’s expression might look like. He knew he didn’t exactly confess his feelings, or even clearly mention his feelings toward Koutarou, but it was the most he had ever expressed himself to anyone. He didn’t know how to feel.

Keiji was both shocked and upset when he saw a couple of tears fall from his eyes and onto his hands. He hated crying in front of people. Especially Koutarou.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cry, ‘Kaashi!” Koutarou gently cradled Keiji’s head in his arms and pressed him close to his chest, swaying slightly. He’d learned to do this for his little sister whenever she was upset—it usually helped. 

“I—I’m sorry.” Keiji’s voice was muffled against Koutarou’s chest, and his tears were soaking his shirt. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Keiji,” a shiver ran down Keiji’s spine at the mention of his given name, “you have nothing to be sorry about.” Koutarou moved to cradle Keiji’s wet face in his hands, making Keiji look at Koutarou in the eyes.

Keiji hiccuped and tried to apologize again, but was promptly shut up by chapped lips brushing against his. Keiji stopped moving, stopped breathing, and tried to stabilize his shaky knees. The kiss was filled with uncertainty, and it tasted of salt from Keiji’s tears, but Koutarou decided that it had ended too soon.

The second time Koutarou’s lips met Keiji’s, Keiji could feel decisiveness and determination in the kiss. He could feel confidence and sincerity, and somehow that made everything better. He knew Koutarou was never good at comforting people—Keiji would always have to be the one to give the team a pep talk whenever they would suffer a loss while Koutarou sulked by his side—but Keiji decided that, in this moment, Koutarou was an expert at comforting him.

“All that stuff you said about Kansai being my dream,” Koutarou panted, trying to catch his breath once he had broken the kiss, “it’s not totally true.” 

Keiji wanted to ask what he meant. He really did. But his brain, his lips, and his vocal cords would not comply. Koutarou’s unexpected, yet very welcome, kiss had rendered him completely helpless.

“Keiji, you’re my dream.” 

Keiji found himself pulling Koutarou in for a third kiss, not being able to bear being apart from Koutarou for one second longer.


	3. chapter three

Koutarou ended up passing all of his entrance exams, keeping all of his offers from the three different universities. But Koutarou didn’t need his exam results to tell him where he was going to attend university.

The day that Koutarou moved to the dorms at the University of Tsukuba was more stressful than sad; since he was moving in with Kuroo Tetsurou, his best friend from Nekoma High School, almost nothing was organized. Both boys had ended up misplacing the keys to their dorm and both boys had assumed the other would have a spare; luckily, Tetsurou’s best friend, Kozume Kenma, knew how to pick a lock. 

This would mark the beginning of a horrible, awful, year of Koutarou and Tetsurou’s shenanigans at the University of Tsukuba. Which was only about an hour away, and Keiji is forever grateful.

Keiji and Kenma would get to know each other more than they had in high school since every time Keiji would make the journey over to Tsukuba, Kenma would be there on Tetsurou and Koutarou’s couch, almost every single time. The two boys would often go to Tetsurou and Koutarou’s matches when they could, and they would even travel to and from Tsukuba together. 

As for Tetsurou and Koutarou, they would make the trip back to their respective parts of Tokyo rarely, due to their busy lives as student-athletes, but they would always come bearing gifts when they did.

Koutarou’s first gift to Keiji was a coupon for 30% off a bowl of ramen from the ramen shop down the street from Koutarou’s dorm.

“Bokuto-san, you always pay for me whenever we go out to eat. Why are you giving me this?” Keiji had chuckled, pinching the coupon between his fingers.

“I dunno! I was nervous cuz Tetsu was surprising Kenma with a new game that he ordered on pre-sale and he was like, ‘Oh, you’re not getting Akaashi anything?’ and I panicked!” Koutarou’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly, and Keiji rubbed Koutarou’s back gently.

“It’s okay. We can go there next time I come over—and I’ll pay.” Keiji offered. Koutarou considered it for a moment before nodding, seeming satisfied.

Koutarou and Keiji would continue to take turns visiting each other, sometimes meeting in the middle for an impromptu date; they would sometimes visit a new park, sometimes try out a new cafe, or sometimes just explore an unfamiliar part of the city.

“Do you think it’d be a good idea to bring the rest of my team to one of Bokuto-san’s matches?” Keiji asked one evening, when he and Kenma were riding the train back to the city. 

“I dunno. Do you think it would distract him?” Kenma didn’t look up from his PSP, but his response let Keiji know he was paying attention.

“That’s what I was worried about.” Keiji fumbled with the pages of his book. “But I think it’d make him really happy. He’s been in kind of a slump for the past few weeks. Apparently, some trouble with one of his professors not liking his portfolio.”

“I think it’d help him with his slump. He already loves seeing you, but seeing his kouhai might get him out of his slump. You know how he loves the praises they give him.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Keiji pulled out his phone to check Tsukuba’s men’s volleyball schedule and sent a screenshot to his team’s group chat, asking which game would work best for them.

* * *

“Akaashi-kun, I can barely see!” Onaga whispered, trying to not let the rest of the team hear him complaining. As vice captain, Onaga must be a pillar of the team’s maturity and common sense—but he knew he could not compare to Keiji.

“I know, I can’t either. But we can’t sit too close, just in case Bokuto-san sees us.”

“Does he even know we’re here?” 

“No. I told him we wouldn’t be able to make it because we had weekend practice. I don’t want him to get distracted and not play well.”

“You know he feeds off of other people’s praises.”

“I know, but if he knew we were watching, he’d try to show off.” Keiji chuckled to himself. “Which might not work out so well.”

“I guess. Plus, it’s nice for the kids to watch our former ace in action before they meet him. He can be a little much.” Onaga chuckled to himself. Keiji smiled at Onaga’s use of the nickname “kids” for their kouhai, he loved them to pieces. 

Keiji and Onaga don’t talk for the rest of the match, as they were too busy cheering for Koutarou whenever he smashed a spike down on the other side of the net or managed to complete a successful block with Tetsurou. Keiji had never thought the two best friends would play together so well, given their shared affinity for competition.

Once Tsukuba had won the match and the teams had finished their meetings, Keiji led his team down the bleachers and to the court, approaching Koutarou from behind before tugging on his sleeve.

“Surprise.” Keiji smiled, once Koutarou had turned around to face him and his old team. 

“Guys! You came!” Koutarou wrestled Onaga into a bear hug after he had placed a quick kiss to Keiji’s temple. 

“Bokuto-san, you were awesome!” One of the kouhai spoke up, causing Koutarou’s eyes to shine with pride as he was surrounded by the group of new additions to Fukurodani’s volleyball club.

“You think so?” Koutarou grinned widely. “C’mon, let’s play a quick match before we gotta put the net up!” Koutarou rushed toward the ball cart and grabbed a ball, immediately tossing it to Keiji. “You’re gonna set for me, right?”

“Of course.” Keiji rolled the ball in his hands and smiled. 

* * *

“Bokuto-san, please, just leave that box there. We have to move the couch off the sidewalk before someone steals it!” Keiji called from the foyer of his new apartment, trying to not ogle his shirtless boyfriend as his back muscles flexed when he picked up the box. 

“But I wanna see what’s in it!”

“You will when we unpack later.” Keiji promised, opening the front door and stepping out into the sunlight, where Tetsurou was sitting on their couch on the sidewalk.

“Are you two lovebirds ready yet?” Tetsurou whined, standing up and stretching.

“Don’t be a pain in the ass because Kou wants to live with me rather than you.” Keiji retorted. Tetsurou wrinkled his nose. 

“Listen, it was a  _ mutual thing _ , Akaashi. Kenma’s moving in with me and you’re moving in with ‘Rou so we were only being logical.”

“The two of you and ‘logical’ do not belong in the same sentence.” 

“Bro, Aka-chan called you ‘Kou’ when you weren’t here!” Tetsurou called to Koutarou, who was descending the stairs from their apartment. Keiji pursed his lips at the awful name that Tetsurou would call him whenever he was trying to get under his skin.

“Baaabe!” Koutarou jumped down the last few steps and bounded over to him. “Why don’t you call me Koutarou more? We’re dating and it’d be super cute!” 

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.” Keiji pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Koutarou’s frown and focused on the task at hand. “Okay, you two get each end of the couch and I’ll bring up the cushions.” 

The two taller boys groaned but obeyed Keiji’s orders, lifting the couch up with ease and carefully ascending the flight of stairs.

Once the couch was in its proper spot in the living room, Keiji gave Tetsurou permission to go back to his apartment to continue preparing for Kenma’s arrival later that week. Koutarou and Keiji worked in silence, unpacking boxes, moving furniture, and decorating their new apartment. 

It was almost eleven in the evening before they were able to finally rest, both boys collapsing onto their bare mattress. Keiji stared at the ceiling and noted the disappointing lack of volleyball posters. He would have to fill the void above him with something else very soon.

“Do you think it’s too soon?” Keiji broke the silence first and Koutarou rolled over on to his side to look at him.

“Too soon for what?”

“To be moving in together.”

“Definitely not. I’ve wanted to live with you since the first time we slept in the same bed.” Koutarou giggled. “You were so shy. You insisted on sleeping on the futon my mom set up.”

“I had never had a sleepover before!” Keiji defended himself, lightly pinching Koutarou’s ear. Koutarou caught his wrist in his hand, gazing down at Keiji’s flushed face.

“Then, when you surprised me with your offer to Tsukuba, I decided right then and there that you were gonna move in with me. You literally did not have a choice.” 

Keiji smiled at the memory of presenting Koutarou with Tsukuba’s offer of an academic scholarship and a spot on their volleyball try out team. Keiji had already known he’d be attending Tsukuba since Koutarou had decided to attend—volleyball scholarship or not.

“Hey, Keiji?” Koutarou was still gazing at him. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you happy?” 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“I meant...are you happy here? With me? At Tsukuba?” Koutarou’s voice was beginning to get softer and somehow farther away, but Keiji wrapped his fingers around the back of Koutarou’s neck and pulled him closer, so that their noses were almost touching.

“Koutarou, there’s literally nowhere else that I’d rather be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed this little fic !! please lmk what you think :3 - coocoocatcho


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